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| Katy Perry in her video for "California Gurls" |
Katy Perry does not dabble in Bad Romance. She is not Hard. And no one tries to make her go to Rehab. Unlike her pop peers, the wide-eyed 25-year-old California Gurl is a Teenage Dream. She wakes up in Vegas. She kisses a girl, "just to try it." Wheeeeeee! After dominating the summer with not one but two unstoppable, earworm hits, her latest album is at the top of the Billboard chart, sitting daintily right above that crankypuss Eminem. A girl like that has a boatload of hate coming her way.
Perry didn't help matters when she performed at her old high school Tuesday and spotted a former crush in the crowd. Acting on the secret fantasy of every girl who ever thought "My So-Called Life" was exactly about her; she called him out, saying, "You were the most popular kid in my class! But you never wanted to date me." Perry then segued into her emasculating anthem, "Ur So Gay," a lightly homophobic romp that chastises its protagonist for not merely being "so gay," but not even liking boys. Clearly somebody forgot the line from "Best of Youth," "Are you happy now? Then it's time to be generous."
You can see why critics like the folks at Gawker might refer to her as "the living worst." It's not just that she's pretty, she's famous, and she's got a rack that goes on for days. It's that she represents for certain listeners everything they clawed their way out of their hometowns to get away from: a former Christian vocalist who can still get mighty uppity when she smells blasphemy. And, ugh, why is she smiling all the time? Lady Gaga is raw, bloody meat. Katy Perry is candy.
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